My mother-in-law buys overly girly clothes for my daughter. I try to be gracious but it kills me
There’s a risk in trying to get our girls away from frilly skirts that we swing all the way to a different kind of enforcement, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith
TL;DR
- A mother is concerned about her mother-in-law buying overly feminine and impractical clothes for her daughter, which clashes with her own values.
- She tries to be gracious but feels her mother-in-law's choices reinforce gender stereotypes she wants to counter.
- The mother-in-law feels hurt by the rejection of her gifts, leading to guilt for the mother.
- Advice suggests that firmly rejecting 'girly' styles can be a form of enforcement itself.
- The core issue is seen as a parenting preference being overridden, not just a difference in taste.
- Suggestions include redirecting the grandmother's gifting to hobbies or ethically made items, or framing it as a way to avoid spoiling the child.
- Modeling that differing ideas between family members can be acceptable is also proposed.