A good friend brings her dogs when she stays with me. I kind of dread it. What can I do?
People often forget social rules when dogs are involved, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But you’ll have to say something if you want things to change
TL;DR
- The writer dreads visits from a friend who brings dogs that do not get along with her own dog and have previously "used the bathroom" in her house.
- The writer tries to be nice and hide her discomfort to maintain the friendship, but the situation affects her enjoyment of her home.
- Eleanor Gordon-Smith explains that one cannot simultaneously have social ease and achieve a desired outcome when dealing with uncomfortable situations.
- She advises that while the friend should have been more considerate, the writer's attempt to smooth things over has masked the disruption.
- To change the situation, the writer needs to communicate her discomfort, suggesting a visit without the dogs and offering a reason related to her own dog's stress.