Tallying
I tally the dead. I tally today’s dead. I seek a tally of the dead or seek yesterday’s dead. I try to count them, the dead. Reports tell me there are, today, more dead. I announce the dead—the house is quiet. I try to count. I seek numbers. I provide numbers. I wake trying. I cover myself in numbers, trying to keep still.
TL;DR
- The narrator attempts to count the dead daily, seeking numbers and providing them.
- The act of counting is a personal ritual, a way to manage and keep stillness amidst loss.
- Despite the overwhelming numbers, the narrator continues to tally, trying to put faces to the dead and acknowledge their defenselessness.
- The narrator keeps the dead inside them, even as life goes on and others are injured.
- The counting is a way to bless the dead, though the narrator admits to forgetting some and losing more.