I'm nearly 30, a virgin and feel lonely. The manosphere is trying to draw me in – where else can I seek assurance?
The manosphere says this type of suffering is targeted neglect, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But your suffering gives you the ability to make your part of the world better.
TL;DR
- The author is nearly 30, a virgin, and experiences depression, anxiety, and loneliness due to childhood bullying, family issues, and frequent moves.
- He struggled with university and the Covid pandemic, feels like an impostor in dating, and worries about his job and the declining town he lives in.
- He has been drawn to the manosphere for guidance and assurance but abhors it and seeks alternatives.
- Eleanor Gordon-Smith validates his suffering but critiques the manosphere's message of unique, targeted neglect.
- She suggests that his experiences of loneliness and feeling overwhelmed can foster understanding and empathy, enabling him to connect with others.
- Gordon-Smith emphasizes finding connection by being authentic and focusing on shared interests rather than seeking broad attractiveness or conforming to societal ideals.
- She concludes that living and improving the world for others is possible even without certainty and assurance.