Why Making Friends in Midlife Is So Hard

I thought I was done dating. But after moving across the country, I had to start again—this time, in search of platonic love.

Why Making Friends in Midlife Is So Hard

TL;DR

  • The average age for meeting best friends is 21, a time when people have more free time and are forming new experiences.
  • Forming new friendships typically requires over 200 hours, ideally spread over six weeks.
  • Adult life, with its focus on careers, marriage, and children, leaves less time and energy for nurturing new friendships.
  • The author moved to Bozeman, Montana, for her partner and found herself without a social network.
  • Making friends at 40 is compared to dating, requiring chemistry, common interests, and a shared vision for the new relationship.
  • Attempts to meet new people through contacts and even a friend-finding app proved difficult.
  • Breaking into established friend groups can be as challenging as making individual new friends.