Marriage Isn’t Hard Work; It’s Serious Play
Yes, love requires some labor. But that shouldn’t define the relationship.
TL;DR
- The common saying "marriage is work" suggests managing a relationship like an office, which can lead to resentment and exhaustion.
- Historically, the concept of marriage as work emerged in the early 20th century as a way to combat rising divorce rates.
- Experts like Ernest Rutherford Groves and publications like Good Housekeeping promoted marriage preparation courses and warned newlyweds that marriage was a full-time job.
- The idea of marriage as work often disproportionately burdens women, who are expected to manage both careers and more domestic labor.
- An alternative perspective views marriage as "serious play," where collaboration, creativity, and resilience are prioritized over task completion.
- This "playful" approach allows couples to navigate life's challenges, including drudgery and difficult decisions, as part of their shared life rather than the core of their relationship.